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The following list contains internal links to the sections below: Chat 35, in which I pretend to be female: June 24th 1998 Chat 36, in which I steal some keys: June 27th 1998 Chat 37, in which I am dissatisfied: June 29th 1998 Chat 38, in which I trip over my own punch line: July 4th 1998 Chat 39, in which I plug by own web-site: July 6th 1998 Chat 40, in which I stick a carrot through someone's throat: July 9th 1998 (end of list) Chat 35, in which I pretend to be female: June 24th 1998
EISA could well stand for Experts In Sucking Always - not only did I get heaps of busy signals last night, but that crusty browser they gave me made it impossible to chat properly in Club Gabbay. I was forced to hide behind anonymity. At least it gave me a chance to tell Lynne that I had once pretended to be her dog. Oh, sure, I can still chat in other chat-rooms up to a point - in Geocities SoHo I had an interesting conversation with Slapdaddy and Austin Powers, and we argued about whether comics is worse than sheep-shagging - but it crashed soon afterwards. I also hung out in the Haunted House, where I told Mikhous about how I'm interested in mental illness and I don't care if I live or die. Mikhous was only chatting to me because he thought I was female - my name was Joni Mitchell - I had to rush off though. JoniMitchell says to Mikhous: Yes that's true. I don't get into conflict with people though. Ummm - I have to leave now - I have a web site at www.ozemail.com.au/~bjosh/welcome.htm - if you're interested - I'm really a man, by the way. Chat 36, in which I steal some keys: June 27th 1998
Delta wanted her car-keys back, so I gave them to her. But she complained that they were made of chocolate. I endeavoured to solve the problem by providing her with white-chocolate keys instead of dark. Meanwhile Cool! was trying to get my attention by giving me a white-chocolate brick. This caused me to break out in a rash and I had to go to hospital. Chat 37, in which I am dissatisfied: June 29th 1998
After a while it was just me and Cool mucking around with each other - the Sunny collage - the napalm - but I wanted more - In Chatropolis: I was being zany and saying crazy things but then someone told me to give it a f---ing break - after that all the zaniness was drained out of me. Chat 38, in which I trip over my own punch line: July 4th 1998
You think you've got it made Just because you're talking to Jailbird And wringing water out of Lynne's hair And carrying on private conversations With *Stella And Ashley And passing comments about CUPID to Megan But you're out of your league, And the longer you stay in here, The lazier you get Jailbird (or Cool) is the master of the comedy chat No matter what you say, he can be funnier He's your competition He likes to play with you, but as time goes by It looks like he's playing you into the ground Pretty soon you're trying too hard, Going overboard, starting a new joke before the previous punch line is delivered Jailbird tries to wind you back And after that you're not funny at all You don't want to compete anymore The lazier you get So Jailbird has won And once again you've proved That you're good at being mediocre Just like you produce sort of okay music And sort of okay pictures And a sort of okay diary It's excellent by mental-patient standards But in the real world you can't compete Don't even try, then You don't want to compete Competition makes you want to Curl up on the floor With your ear next to the stereo Wishing that the skin on your face Was cold and lifeless For the stillness reminds you of death And dying is okay 'Cause no one's gonna say "He was quite good at dying - but I've seen better." Till then, get used to being second best And don't try to aim too high. You've seen it happen With The Paradise Motel - They try to compete in the real world, And they just end up losing That certain something that they had. Chat 39, in which I plug by own web-site: July 6th 1998
Chat 40, in which I stick a carrot through someone's throat: July 9th 1998
There was a big fight going on. Everyone was shouting spite. I started juggling carrots - then Summer came along and shoved the carrots up my butt. So I stuck a carrot through her throat, causing much blood spillage. And Rina said, "BLOOD SPILLAGE? TALK PROPERLY, A--HOLE!", and I said "'Blood spillage' is correct grammar." And Rina said, "WE DON'T WANT YOUR 'CORRECT GRAMMAR' IN HERE, YA POMPOUS F---WIT!" And I said, "You don't my correct want grammar, you? Then okay." Anyway eventually it turns out that Rina and Summer were just playing a joke on everyone, creating artificial anger. *LOL* << previous chat page next chat page >> chat list |