So you've decided to go to Luna Park? Well that's a good place to go I guess fair enough. To get there you need to go through O'Donnell Gardens, the beautiful park with the palm trees -- oh look, here's a crowd of people gathered around, looking at something. As you get closer you see that they are looking at a street performer. Curiosity gets the better of you and you nudge your way into the crowd.
The performer is juggling some razor sharp knives. As you watch, two men pass through his perfomance area, ignoring the crowd. Looks like they're on their way to the Esplanade.
The Performer says in an English accent: Hey guys, feel free to walk across my stage. Don't bother to pay attention to the world around you. He shakes his head and mutters Morons. Morons.
The two men look back at him angrily and say, What?
Performer: Hey don't give me that dirty look! Or is that your normal face? Oh, I'm sorry.
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One of the men starts heckling. Heckler: Hey, why don't you just get f---ed? Performer: I been getting f---ed for years mate! Heckler: You poms are all the same! Audience: Oooooooo! Performer: I was born in Australia. Heckler: Hey, you wanna fight me? Come on! Performer: (Jumping up on a stone wall) Police! Excuse me! Police! There's a crazy man here, trying to attack me! Please remove him! Heckler's Friend: Come on man, he's not worth it. Let's go. (Heckler leaves) Performer: (Calling out) Hey guys, no hard feelings! Just joking. (to audience) What a pair of morons! Did you see them? One of them walked like this -- and the other one walked like this -- Woman: Hey, why don't you get on with your act, instead of making fun of people in their absence? Performer: Well I was just having a bit of fun! Lighten up! Woman: But this isn't what we came here to see, you making fun of people! Performer: Okay madam (Going over to her) I'm sorry, I went too far, I stepped over the line, and for that you have permission to spank me. |
The big mouth entrance is fenced off and looking badly in need of repairs. But you can see the rides operating inside -- the amusement park must be open. Let's take a look around the fence.
In some ways this place is a relic of the past -- it's the oldest amusement park in Australia seeing as how it opened in 1912. Did you know that it has the oldest operating roller-coaster in the world? Well it does. I went on the roller coaster (aka the 'Scenic Railway') for the first time last February and it sure was a bumpy ride. It's made of wood and all. But most of the rides inside are much more recent.
You've arrived at the side entrance. It's open. Go ahead. Admission is free.
The security guard stops you. "Sorry mate", he says. "Private function."
Oh, man, forget about it. It probably would have made you sick anyway. What do you want to do now?